March 19, 1997
Beginning in 1991, 2,000 of the most powerful people on the planet have converged annually in Davos to discuss the world's economic and business agendas. The conference fee for those not lucky enough to have been invited to speak is $20,000, which doesn't include the cost of staying in one of the world's most exclusive resorts. If that seems expensive, you have no business being here.
This year's theme, "Building the Network Society," was of particular interest to Upside, as the program featured a glittering array of high-tech gurus, from Cnet CEO Halsey Minor to Bill Gates. Not surprisingly, Gates was the most sought-after person in Davos--more than Henry Kissinger or the prime ministers of Israel or the U.K. Those people lucky enough to meet with Gates subsequently talked about nothing else. They said things like, "Hey, I talked to Bill, and he said, 'blah . . . blah . . . blah.' And you know, he is a swell guy, a really swell guy," etc.
I got some juicy Gates stuff, as well as the latest hot rumors about Michael Ovitz, Ted Turner, Larry Ellison, Herbert Allen and Sumner Redstone, so I figured my editor would be reasonably happy. But nothing had prepared me for what was about to happen only an hour before my return flight to San Francisco.
I was in the Burger King restaurant at the Zurich International Airport, standing in line to get a bite to eat, when I spotted Bill Gates sitting alone in the corner, apparently unnoticed. Wow, I thought, there's the richest man in the universe eating a cheeseburger.
He was just sitting there, reading The Economist and eating. No one was paying any attention to him. The place was very busy--all sorts of people from all over the globe grabbing a bite before flying to distant places, too preoccupied to notice that the richest, and some say most powerful, dude on the planet was in their presence.
"Hi, Bill, I'm Al Frankley from Upside magazine. It sure is nice to see you. Do you mind if I ask you a couple quick questions?"Gates looked up at me with a blank stare. His mouth was too full for him to answer immediately. I noted that his hair was matted, as if he just woke up after a hard night of partying. He was characteristically rocking back and forth as he ate and continued reading his magazine.
Surprisingly, he motioned for me to sit down at his table. It was then I noticed that he was chomping down on a multilayered cheeseburger the size of the Matterhorn. I had never seen anything like this on the menu. I was dying to asking him a question about Microsoft's battle with Netscape, but first I had to know about the cheeseburger. "That's some cheeseburger. What the hell is it?"
"This is the most radical cheeseburger you ever tasted," he boasted. "I buy three regular Whoppers, and then I throw out two sets of buns and combine the remaining ingredients into one gigantic cheeseburger."Wow, I thought, I'm sitting with Bill Gates, and we're talking cheeseburgers. This has to be a first. I wondered how far I could push him on the subject.
"You're the richest man on the planet, and you still eat in fast-food restaurants?"Gates paused a moment and then suddenly looked up at me, his eyes flashing angrily."I love fast-food hamburger joints. I admire McDonald's. It has the most recognized brand name in the world."
"So, just because I'm ridiculously rich and you know my net worth is just a number you get by multiplying some stock numbers, why should I suddenly stop eating hamburgers? Some of you reporters are brain dead! And none of you understands technology!"He wagged his finger at me and said, "Technology is what makes McDonald's one of the supergood companies. Without McDonald's, there couldn't be a Microsoft.""What has technology got to do with cheeseburgers?" I asked.
"You must be kidding."Shifting gears, I asked, "What about Netscape? What market share do you think it will have by 2000?""Of course I'm kidding. Are you an idiot? Have some fries. I can't eat all these."
"Market share, ha!" Gates howled, bits of meat and ketchup and lettuce flying through the air. Then he did something amazing. While continuing to rock back and forth, he pushed his tongue between his lips and blew a raspberry. A very loud raspberry.I had to ask, "So, just how are you going to deal with the Time Warners of this world?""Did you hear that?" he asked. "That's how much market share Netscape will have in 2000."
"Seriously, Bill."
"That was serious. Why am I wasting time talking to you?" he asked in an exasperated tone.
"Are you always this rude to reporters?"
"Hell yes. I'm rude to everyone. Being Chairman Bill of Microsoft takes up most of my enormous bandwidth. I don't have time to be courteous. Courtesy will have to wait until I'm in my 80s."
"So, what do you really think of Netscape?" I probed.
"The correct answer is, Netscape is a fine company," he said, making a yawning gesture and winking at me. "It came out of nowhere (yawn), and for a nanosecond (another yawn), it almost blew us out of the water (yawn). This proves the whole federal investigation thing is unfounded and ridiculous (snort)."
"But then, you personally made the Internet an integral part of every Microsoft endeavor and thereby kicked Netscape's butt," I said, in a vain attempt to get on his good side.
"Sure, if you say so. But then, you are a genetically deficient reporter, and what could you know about anything? You have zero bandwidth," Gates said, scowling.
"So, I have to know how to program just to know what is going on in the technology industry?" I asked, a bit testily.
"Of course not. Don't be ridiculous," he replied, and blew yet another loud raspberry. "The real competition is with Time Warner, Viacom, Disney. We've got to really kick ass with those guys. I like kicking ass with Ted, Sumner and Michael. Jim Barksdale, on the other hand, the dude makes me laugh. He's such a weenie. Ha!"
"I'm going to buy the Internet," Gates answered.Gates was finished with his fries. He reached across the table, and in an unconscious manner, took back the fries he had given me."What?"
"I'm going to buy the Internet, and then every time those guys take a pee, they'll have to pay Microsoft a royalty. Ha!" he sneered.
"But you can't buy the Internet, Bill. No one owns the Internet."
"So, I'll just buy all the ISPs, and I will virtually own the whole damn thing. Then I change the standards on their asses, and before you know it, they'll be kissing me where the sun doesn't shine!" he proclaimed.
"As soon as I finish these, I'm out of here. Nice chatting with you, but I've got a lot of work to do," he said.Gates jumped up from his stool, Whopper wrappers flying everywhere. He stuffed The Economist into his tote bag, waved in my face and started to leave. Then he hesitated. He turned and said, "You won't print any of this will you? It was off the record.""Where do you go from here?" I asked.
"Back to Redmond. Every time I'm gone a few days, I've got to go back and rattle a few cages."
"How's the house?"
"The house is practically done. And it's not this ridiculous hole in the side of a hill with video walls that all you guys who have never been there write about."
"Is it true that you have video walls, and that the walls can be programmed to display art based on any individual's interest?"
"That's absurd. Who would want that?" he answered.
"Bill, one more question. Are you happy?"
"Happy? How do you measure that? That's not quantifiable. Every day I go to work, and I know there's a good chance I'll be worth another billion dollars before I get home. That's pretty motivating."
"How's married life?"
"It's none of your business. You never know what lies you people will write about my personal life. Besides, I've got to go."
"OK then, what's the biggest challenge for Microsoft?"
"The biggest challenge is for Microsoft to be huge before I retire. I mean really huge. Not just in terms of stock. In terms of sheer cash flow, sheer physical size."
"Of course not, Bill, don't worry. Nice talking to you," I said.But as he walked away, I muttered under my breath, "April Fools, Bill Gates. April Fools."